Dude

So, today turned out to be kind of ironic in that I was inwardly thinking to myself last night while I was waking up every hour on the hour to either pee, or change position, or go the fridge to take a swig of orange juice straight from the jug...that I really did not want to go to work today. But I couldn't call in sick, because I wasn't sick, and I really don't like to make up stories to get out of going to work. So, at my 5am wakeup, I hear Monkey in the bathroom doing this dry hacking cough thing that she does every once in awhile...but then the dry hacking turns into BLLLLLEAAAAH. Yeah, every mom knows that sound...so I get out of bed, go into the bathroom and see Monkey sitting on the toilet with a puddle of barf on the floor in front of her...that smells and LOOKS like rotten apples. So, I ask her if she's done going potty...she says "Yes"...and I tell her as I have many times before, "Sweetie, if you are hacking so hard like that, please get a drink of water...because I think you just hacked so hard you made yourself throw up." She says "Sorry Mommy" and I get her a glass of water so she can get rid of the "I just barfed" breath. She goes back to bed, and I am left with the mess. I cleaned it all up with a towel which I immediately threw in the washing machine turned to the hot water cycle. Then I grab the Swiffer mop with antibacterial spray juice and mop the bathroom floor. Back to bed by about 5:20 knowing that my alarm is going to go off in about an hour...so I don't think I even bothered trying to fall back to sleep.

So, everyone gets up and starts doing their thing. Monkey is in bed still at 7:30am - so I have to go wake her up and she says her tummy doesn't feel good. Great. So maybe it wasn't just the dry hacky thing. I give her a children's Pepto and make her get up and start getting dressed for preschool. She sits down at the table for her cereal and she doesn't eat it. For some kids, this may be normal...but not for Monkey. She mows through her cereal every morning, and usually asks for seconds...she would probably ask for thirds if I'd let her. But not this morning...she said "Every time I chew, it makes me want to throw up". So, I tell her to go lay down and let the Pepto kick in.

I finish getting Cita out the door for her bus, and then turn my focus to Baby Pants to get her ready. I finally am able to get myself ready, and at about 8:15 when we all start getting ready to go out the door, I hand Monkey a 'barf bowl' for the car, just in case it really wasn't the hacky cough thing. We all go outside without jackets because it was going to be a balmy 70 degrees in Phoenix today - but at 8:20 it's still a tad chilly for us Phoenicians. So, we all go back inside to grab some jackets...as I'm putting the jacket on Baby Pants, I hear it again...BLLLLLEAAAAH. She made it into the barf bowl, bless her heart. This time it was Pepto Pink. She says "My tummy feels better now". I say "I bet it does"...and get her some more water, and rinse out the barf bowl.

OK, definitely not going to school today. So, I drop Baby Pants off at the babysitter's house and ask Monkey if she feels OK enough for me to drive to a couple of places, since I was obviously not going to work today (be careful what you wish for). She says "Yes"...so I go to the Uhaul store to get boxes, because, yes, I absolutely am still nesting. Then I drove through the drive-thru ATM for some cash, and then we head home.

I told Monkey to go lay down so she could start feeling better while I began my household disinfecting process. She slept for a good couple of hours - and I got the house all cleaned up. Aaaah...what a nice feeling.

Then, it was lunch time. I really didn't want to make anything...I really wanted Jack in the Box tacos. What??? I'm pregnant! So, Monkey asks if she can get french fries and a Dr. Pepper. Now, when your child has been throwing up, this is probably the LAST thing they need. But she sounded all sweet, and her beautiful hazel eyes were doing a number on her mommy. So, I said "Yes, but Monkey, Dr. Pepper and curly fries might make your tummy feel worse." She just says "OK Mommy".

We get home, eat our lunch...and then I thought it was nice and warm enough for Monkey to get some fresh air while I start packing up some unwanted stuff in my newly acquired Uhaul boxes. She asks if she can ride her bike, yes...then she asks if she can sweep the patio...yes. My darling Monkey is such a helper, even when she's not feeling well, she wants to help. So, she gets the broom. Then, all of a sudden she whizzes by me and heads straight for the bathroom. I think "Poor thing...she's going to barf again." And I hear, "Mooooommmmmy....I didn't quite make it to the toilet." I think "Great...more barf to clean up". Except No...Not barf...not barf at all, not even from the same place barf comes from. Rather the opposite actually.

So tomorrow...I definitely want to go to work. Definitely Definitely want to go work. (catch my Rainman tone there)