Monday, November 9, 2009

Marriage Monday - 11/09/09

His Sexuality

So, this week's Marriage Monday chapter is on our husband and his sexuality. I got two paragraphs into this chapter and read this:
"It isn't that the wife cares nothing about that part of her life It's that there are so many other things screaming for her attention, such as raising children, work, finances, managing a home, emotional stress, exhaustion, sickness, and marital strife. In the wife's juggling of priorities, sex can end up on the bottom of her list."

I don't know about you ladies, but these few sentences describe me. This is kind of a personal subject to talk about - but, I'm pretty sure there are many other women out there that feel this way. It's not like I don't WANT to have sex with my husband, I just have so many other things going on, it's like...when do I have time for THAT? And it sucks, because I know for him, he would probably want to have sex every day, multiple times a day if he could. So, where do we find a balance that works for both of us, you know?

On page 62, the author goes on to say "A man can easily be made to feel insignificant, beaten down, discouraged, destroyed, or tempted in this area of his being. There is probably no more important means of fulfillment for a man, and no area where he is more vulnerable."

Wow - I knew dudes liked sex, but it's sometimes hard to grasp that it is SO important to them.

This chapter talks about praying in this area of our lives, so that we can get somewhat on the same page as our husband as far as desire. And if there are times when we aren't quite feeling it, that we would pray that we would have renewed energy, strength, vitality and a good attitude. And then to take 10 or 15 minutes and prepare ourselves physically and emotionally, by doing things that make us feel pretty and desirable - fix our hair, put on lingerie, put makeup on if you want - I know I don't feel too in the mood or sexy when I'm my sweatpants that have 8 holes in the butt and a ratty old tank top, and my pits stink from a long day. :)

Page 64 talks about the flip side - what if our husband doesn't seem to care about having sex? The author suggests that we pray about this as well for insight into what's going on - she says "If there is no physical problem hindering him, maybe he's having deep feelings of failure, disappointment, depression, or hopelessness that need to be addressed - prayer can help reveal what the problem is and how to solve it."

So, to wrap up today's Marriage Monday - I will be honest and say that this area is something I definitely need to work on. I pray that I can meet this need in our marriage better, and that I can do it before things take a turn that I don't want it to take.

Next week we'll be talking about "His Affection" - have a great day everyone!


Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

In hindsight, the toughest dry spell for us was when our children were young Happily, that passed as they got older and less demanding and when we were better rested and had more free time on our hands, well, things heated up once more.

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