Monday, April 26, 2010

Only 2 More Weeks

Yes, it's sad, but true...only 2 more weeks until I have to return back to work full-time. :( I've come to terms with it over the last week or so, but it definitely still makes me sad. It makes we wish I were independently wealthy. It makes me wish that the economy didn't suck so hard that my husband has to take crappy side jobs because he can't find full-time work right now. But I'm also thankful that he even has those crappy side jobs to take. God has given me peace about returning back to work, maybe even hinted that it might be temporary, so I'm OK with it I suppose. I just put myself into my little son's head and wonder if he will be OK with it. All of my other children were, so I'm sure he will be. But it just makes me sad that he'll be wondering "Who's this strange lady, and where's my mommy?" But his big sister will be there too, and we've been using this in-home daycare for almost 4 years, so I know that he'll be in completely good hands, they just won't be mine. Waah.

You know when 'they' say that you are a servant to your debt...totally true. Shame on me for allowing myself to get into debt to where I don't have the freedom to not have to work full-time if I don't want to. And I'm not even in THAT bad of debt, a car and a few credit cards...but it's enough to tie me to a desk for at least the next few years. Not to mention medical bills. For the last 3 years, I have reached the out-of-pocket limit on my insurance plan. And it seems as soon as I get one year's bills paid off, here come the next round. I know there's light at the end of the tunnel, but sheesh, it's looking pretty faint right now.

Sorry, didn't mean for this post to be a complaining post. There are lots of things I'm grateful for and happy about. But I'm human, and things bother me sometimes, and it feels better to get them out. To hear encouragements from others that have felt the same way. To let others that are struggling know that they aren't alone.

These are some scriptures that came to mind for my current state of mind:

Romans 8:28 - "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."

Jeremiah 29:11 (my favorite of ALL time) - "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"


6 comments:

Faith Imagined said...

I have many friends in the same situation as you. I will be praying for you as you make this transition back to work.

Michelle@DomesticationoftheSingleGirl said...

Oh NO. So you'll be in bloggy land even less now, huh?

Don't mind me. I'm selfish. But if I ever win the lotto, I'll pay off your debt for you. (Don't hold your breath, though. I don't even know HOW to play lotto. Mmmrm. Is my incompetent showing?)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

That IS tough. You remind me to feel so thankful I had a choice.

Angela Hill said...

I'm sorry you are facing this, it is so hard to leave the babies for the first time. Hang in there and I hope it all goes as smoothly as possible. Big hugs.

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