Thursday, July 23, 2009

Writer's Workshop

This is my first time participating in the Writer's Workshop from Mama's Losin' It. She gives you a few prompts to choose from, you pick one, write about it, and then go back to her website and put your name in the McLinky thing that shows you participated.

This week, I saw an interesting one, and I think it might help you get to know me a bit better, and may make some of you think I'm weird and run screaming from my blog never to return. ;) Hopefully it's the former and not the latter.

So - I chose Prompt #5 - Describe what brought you closer to your faith.

There were a few things that brought me closer to my faith, or at least put me back on my journey to getting closer to God. I was raised by my grandparents, and they were practicing Mormons when I was a kid. My grandma never really taught me stories out of the Book of Mormon though, she taught me about Jesus from the Bible. She says she felt she agreed the most with Mormon doctrines, I'm not sure why, and I don't argue it with her anymore. But, I never really felt that being a Mormon was for me - the rules and some of things I read just didn't sit well with me. By the time I was about 13 or 14, I was the only one out of our family still going to the LDS church. My grandma still said she was Mormon, but she felt bad going to church because she drank coffee and smoked. I continued going to church off and on until I was about 16, then I stopped.

I got pregnant my senior year in high school, and had my first daughter 5 months after I graduated. Her father left and was not involved. I moved back in with my grandparents, and when my daughter was about 6 months old, I met a guy, and he loved me and my daughter so I moved in with him (much to my grandparents' dismay). About 6 months into the relationship, I started feeling a tugging on my heart to return to church, not the Mormon church, but I wasn't sure which church. Since I didn't know what church to go to, I just went to Walmart and bought a Bible (yes, Walmart). Of course, we are a "drive-thru", get it quick, culture - so I flipped to the end to see what happens (this is the book of Revelation, and it can be pretty scary stuff). So, here I am, this 18 year old kid, reading about how fornicators (me and my boyfriend) were going to get thrown into the lake of fire. I said "Ohhh...we are going to hell in a handbasket". We kind of laughed it off, but not really. We eventually grew apart because I worked days and he worked nights, and I ended up moving out and getting my own apartment for me and my daughter.

I started seeing someone else (this was a bad pattern for me as a young adult, I just could never seem to be alone). I had also started a new job, and was working with a gal that kept talking about her church and how it was really laid back, non-denominational and the pastor was really cool. I went with my new boyfriend one Sunday, and it was OK, a lot different than what I was used to (LDS church is all about being 'reverent'), and these people were standing up, and singing, and clapping their hands. I wasn't sure if I was going to go back, but I still felt tugging...God's kind of annoying like that sometimes (hehe). Anywho, when I was a senior in high school, I had gotten into going to raves (and all the illicit drugs that went along with it) - but obviously stopped when I was pregnant (ok, I guess that's not obvious as I'm sure there are some women out there who wouldn't stop just because they're pregnant...but I did). Anywho, I heard about a rave that was going to go on on New Year's Eve, and I hadn't been to one in a long time, so my mom watched my daughter for the night, and I convinced my boyfriend to go with me. He had never taken drugs, so he just drank a few beers before we went, but as soon as I got there I found the ecstacy guy, bought a pill and took it. As the night went on, we were dancing, and somehow got separated from each other. The next thing I know, I'm outside, kissing some other guy and my boyfriend walks up. He looked really hurt, and he left...he came back, and I left with him. When we were talking about it in the morning, I told him that I really needed to get myself straight, it wasn't right for me to live like that, and as much as I wanted to stay together with him, I just couldn't. He understood, and he was a really good friend to me for many years later.

So, that January, in 1999, I went back to my friend's church, and turned my life over to God. I was almost 19 years old at the time. I've been on my journey for the past 10 years - there have been more ups and downs, life has not been perfect by any means, and God doesn't promise that. In fact, He says there will be more trials and tribulations for being a believer. But I wouldn't trade anything I've gone through, it's made me the person I am today, and I'd like to think I'm a much better person now than I was 10 years ago and that I'm teaching my children now to develop their faith so maybe they won't have to go through ALL of the things I went through. I'm sure they'll make their own mistakes, but as long as they know that God is always waiting for them when they're ready to come back, I think they'll be just fine.


10 comments:

Grammy Suzzy and DJ Doran said...

Your story truly touched by your post today. I am a mormon...I joined the Church when I was 14. I did not find the "rules" as all refer to them limiting, but, rather, freeing. I don't have to worry about so many things that would hurt me. I live a clean life, and try my hardest to be a good wife, mom, and grammy. It is so good that you have sought out a church. Your daughter will be so blessed, and so will you, as you seek to put the Lord in your life. Remember, Jesus died so that all could repent and live with the Lord again. You have repented, and so no matter what is in your past, you have a bright future ahead.

Trudy said...

Hi Crystal, I'm visiting from Mama Kat's today! Glad you decided to participate...it's so much fun!

Thanks so much for sharing your story and for your honesty! I always love to hear about people and their faith walks!

I love this: "so I flipped to the end to see what happens "!

That was the best thing you could do was to buy that Bible! I hope you are still reading it lots today.

God bless you!

Erin said...

That's a great story! So glad that you shared!
Stopping by from MamaKats

The Crazy Coxes said...

I LOVE your post! Thanks so much for sharing. I was just visiting from Mama Kat's and I clicked on your blog at random. I am so glad I did!!!!!

I'm Just Sayin' - Kerri said...

I really enjoyed reading your post. I'm new to the Mama Kat's prompt game myself, but I look forward to reading your future responses!

Foursons said...

I'm sure that wasn't easy to share. Thanks for doing so. Sometimes the Christians who have lived the worldly temptations are the greatest believers.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

What a testimony! Sounds like you heard the call loud and clear--yay God! Yay you!

Summer said...

What an incredible journey!

Thank you so much for sharing and for your honesty....I loved this.

Dianna@KennedyAdventures said...

Hope to see more of your Writer's workshop entries! Thanks for stopping by!

Margaret said...

Wow!!! What an amazing story! I lvoe how God grabbed your heart and wouldn't give you any peace until you were in the church he wanted you to be in and fellowshipping with Him. I had a rough past before I came to God and I can honestly say that I have used that past to reach people who might not have listened to me otherwise. You will too. Thanks for sharing your story.