My Grandpa, The Standup Comedian

OK...so in my previous post, I talked about how funny my Grandpa is, and I confirmed this in a conversation I had with my Mom last night on my way home from work. We guffawed over every funny thing that my Grandpa, whom we also lovingly call "Papa", has said. We have 3 generations of people that interact with him, and it's hard to know who anyone is talking about when someone is calling him "Dad", "Grandpa" and "Great-Grandpa"...so "Papa" covers the gamut. We also did this with my Grandma, who is now just "Nana". But when they were raising me, they were Grammy and Grampy. I just recently remembered that's what I called them back in the day and laughed because I would literally yell that through the house, for instance when a spider was anywhere in the vicinity of me and I was rendered helpless..."GRAAAAAAMMMMMMPPPYYYYY". I wonder if he ever thought I was screaming "Crampy" because I was on my period? OH!! That reminds me that I also screamed "Grampy" once because I was on my period, but I was out of tampons, and I was still in bed, and I knew if I got out of bed there would be issues...so I yelled for him and had the poor guy go to the store and buy me tampons. TMI, I know...but whatever.

But seriously...he delivers lines in a totally deadpan way. (I think there's a sandpiper out my office window...sorry, that's my ADD kicking in...back to Papa). He would say "I just flew in from Las Vegas, and boy are my arms tired"...and normally that would be a dumb line, but when my Papa says it, it's totally funny. He also does this obnoxious bird sound, whilst flapping his "wings" like a chicken...and blurting "SCHMOCK!!! SCHMOCK!!!". I think he should randomly do this during his comedy routine. I told him he should, and he said "Yeah, they'll carry me off to the funny farm if I do that." And I also said that he could be the next Milton Berle...he said "Yeah, I will be eventually...he's DEAD!". HA! See? you guys would pay to see my grandpa do a comedy act, right? That stuff's funny right there. That's my next career path...my grandpa's manager for his comedy act. Coming soon to a comedy club near you..."Funny Old Guy"!